DNG Life Change

My journey from flubby and grubby to HAPPY

3:27AM December 3rd 2013

Hello again…

It’s been over one year since my last post. I just read it over and was initially shocked and inspired by my (if I do say so myself) well written blurb, and secondly, inspired again by my enthusiasm.

I have had a rough year. Shortly after my last post I ended things with a very significant person in my life. Romantically, emotionally, friendshiply… that isn’t a word but I have no doubt anyone reading this can relate to the word. I have had a very rough go of it these past 13 months. I haven’t felt myself in quite awhile.

I have struggled, and am still struggling, through some intense experiences. But tonight I spent an hour on my balcony chain smoking cigarettes and listening to Michael Buble’s Christmas album. I can’t explain why or what it means to me, but understand that it means a lot. Anyway, I came back inside and looked at myself in the mirror. I mean really looked at myself. I stripped down literally and LOOKED. I looked at what I saw. At 3AM in the very large, brand new and shiny apartment bathroom mirror I saw someone I do not recognize. I saw someone I have been ignoring, avoiding, eliminating, imagining wasn’t real……. Who I have become. I did not like what I saw.

10 minutes ago while looking (dissecting, picking apart, patronizing, and honestly staring in disbelief) at this person reflecting back at me, I made a decision. I have held back in so many situations in the last year PURELY because of my physical appearance and how I viewed myself and ultimately how I imagine(d) people viewed me. That isn’t what I want to do anymore. I know myself, and I understand the road ahead of me. I know I will have to continue dissecting, picking apart, patronizing and staring in disbelief at myself for awhile, but I hope in time (soooooon) that that dissection and disbelief will turn into awe, pride, inspiration and determination. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. I just need to find what I found before. It all came from within myself. I rely on no one else to get me there. I will rely on friends for support. I have a very tight knit group, all of whom know what I am going through, that can help support, inspire and help keep me on track.

This feels haphazard and that is because it is. I am drunk. I drank 2 bottles of wine and smoked nearly 10 cigarettes tonight. Not including the 3 I smoked earlier today. I have reached a point in this life I have been granted in which I want to take control of my direction and happiness.

Here is a list of my goals for the end of December:

Finish this pack of cigarettes and say goodbye to them

Attend an AA meeting with my dad

Start running again

Inquire at Golds Gym about costs/deals/just get info

Spend $0 on delivery/take-out

Prepare snacks for work

Wash my makeup off every night

Organize myself for next semester

Join a Yoga studio

Unpack all of my boxes

Walk Vinny once a day

Hang my mirror

Finish my headboard

Celebrate NYE and stop drinking after Dec 31

Write an attainable NY resolution list and put it somewhere safe

Buy a new journal

Tell him how you feel

That last one is tentative and most important, which is why it is in italics and last on the list. I’m in love with someone who I haven’t told… and I need to tell them. I need to.

This has been a very spontaneous but much needed outlet for many thoughts. I will be back soon. I need to be back soon.

October 28th

Fresh beginning Monday…?

Once again it’s been so long. I am in a really weird place right now, and I am finding salvation in the idea of keeping this blog again. I remember it made me feel like I had to be accountable to something, and I need some stability.

This summer I lost 30 pounds. I joined a gym, got a personal trainer and was extremely dedicated. That time is the happiest I can remember being in a very long while. I lost it though, and I’m feeling lost and like the weight is coming back, and I need to find that happiness again. Along with once again being unhappy with my body, three days ago I spilled all over my brand new laptop and it’s totally fried… so. I’m quite upset about that as well. BUT! Weight gain, ruined laptops, unfocused attention.. there is nothing I can do about the things that have already happened; I can only change the future.

I have to buy a new laptop. I have roughly calculated that it will take me approximately 2 paychecks (as long as I spend $0) and one month to accumulate the funds. I have some student loan money left, enough to cover next semester and a couple hundred for new computer if I fall short. So, a new goal I have is to have a newly purchased laptop by Christmas (to be realistic).

Along with that, I am going to FORCE myself to find my love for fitness, health and exercise again. The desire is there, and when I think about healthy eating and going on runs and working out at the gym I feel inspired and excited! But then I allow myself to be lazy instead. I just need to force myself the first few times and I know I won’t be able to stop.

I need to focus on ME and what I want, not on what other people want.

And this time, I have roped my bestie Chelsea into this as my motivation partner. (THAT IS THE GAYEST THING EVER.)

Happy weight loss!

Chicken and avocado salad in a lime cilantro dressing!

Chicken and avocado salad in a lime cilantro dressing!

(Source: damiengood)

Definitely keeping these in my back pocket for after the 30 Day Challenge!!!
fitvillains:

31 Healthy & Portable High Protein Snacks
This is a great list for those of us who are busy and on the go! Easy, fast and fabulous any time of the day. 
As a general rule, you want to eat within about an hour of your workout, but sometimes your belly is just not ready for a big meal. Try a small, light protein snack like any of the choices on this list to get a quick re-fuel before heading home from the gym! You’ll start the recovery process faster and have more energy later in the day. Bring it with you!
Via The Greatist 

1. Cottage-Style Fruit: Top ½ cup cottage cheese with ½ cup of your favorite fruit. Why not try some superfoods? Bananas, mixed berries, and melon are some Greatist favorites!
2. Beef or Turkey Jerky: Be careful to avoid sodium- and sugar-filled brands, but low-sodium, natural, or lightly-flavored options are a great source of protein. And this chewy snack is super-portable and keeps fresh for months when packed properly. A one-ounce serving (the size of most single-serve packs) contains about 9 grams of protein!
3. Mixed Nuts or Trail Mix: This is a favorite in the Greatist office. Mixed nuts are an easy way to get a delicious dose of protein in a convenient, shelf-stable package. Try a mixed bunch for variety and a combo with dried fruit for some added sweetness. The best bang for your protein buck?Almonds and Pistachios are high up there in protein while comparably lower in saturated fat than their nutty peers.
4. Pumpkin Seeds: Those orange gourds aren’t just for Halloween. The pumpkin insides, scooped out to make room for spooky faces, can actually make a healthy little snack once they’re washed, dried, and nicely roasted! Just ½ cup of pumpkin seeds has about 14 grams of protein — the perfect pre-workout snack!
5. Hard-Boiled Egg: Inexpensive and loaded with nutrients, eggs are one of the best ways to get a healthy dose of protein. Try hard boiling and pre-peeling a dozen at the start of the week and throw one in a small Tupperware container each day for an easy on-the-go snack. (Feeling extra famished? Slice the egg and place it on a piece of whole-wheat bread.)
6. Deli Rollup: Top 2 slices of low-sodium deli meat (turkey, chicken, or roast beef work great!) with 1 slice of lowfat cheese and a shake of pepper. Add a slice of tomato or some lettuce for extra veggie points!
7. Nut Butter Boat: Any vehicle for nut butter (almond, peanut, or cashew, perhaps?) is perfection in our book. Try loading a few celery sticks with 1 tablespoon of any nut butter topped with a few whole almonds or raisins (oh yeah, we went there). If you’re not a fan of celery, try scooping out the middle of an apple and fill it with a nut buttery surprise!
8. Mini Bean-and-Cheese Quesadilla: It might take an extra minute to prep, but combining these two high-protein treats is worth it! Fold ½ cup black beans, 1 tablespoon salsa, and 1 slice cheddar cheese in a small soft tortilla. Cook in a dry nonstick pan until cheese is melted and tortilla is lightly browned. Wrap in foil and stick in a plastic baggie for easy transport.
9. Shake It Up: The combinations are endless with protein shakes. And one scoop can go a long way! Our favorites? The “Protein Creamsicle” — 1 scoop vanilla whey protein powder, 1 cup orange juice, and 1 cup ice blended until smooth — (thanks @JCDFitness!), and the “Star-buffs Shake” — 1 cup iced coffee (with ice) and 1 scoop chocolate whey protein, blended — a caffeine-filled creation from Greatist’s fitness editor, Jordan Shakeshaft.
10. KIND Bar: We’re not huge supporters of prepackaged bars, smoothies, and the like, but we make an exception for KIND bars. Their classic varieties are a great source of protein from the all-nut base (coming in at around 5 grams per bar), but for an even higher dose of the good stuff, try Kind Plus varieties with added protein. (An office favorite is Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate + Protein — one bar has 7 grams!)

Read more via The Greatist!

Definitely keeping these in my back pocket for after the 30 Day Challenge!!!

fitvillains:

31 Healthy & Portable High Protein Snacks

This is a great list for those of us who are busy and on the go! Easy, fast and fabulous any time of the day. 

As a general rule, you want to eat within about an hour of your workout, but sometimes your belly is just not ready for a big meal. Try a small, light protein snack like any of the choices on this list to get a quick re-fuel before heading home from the gym! You’ll start the recovery process faster and have more energy later in the day. Bring it with you!

Via The Greatist 

1. Cottage-Style Fruit: Top ½ cup cottage cheese with ½ cup of your favorite fruit. Why not try some superfoodsBananasmixed berries, and melon are some Greatist favorites!

2. Beef or Turkey Jerky: Be careful to avoid sodium- and sugar-filled brands, but low-sodium, natural, or lightly-flavored options are a great source of protein. And this chewy snack is super-portable and keeps fresh for months when packed properly. A one-ounce serving (the size of most single-serve packs) contains about 9 grams of protein!

3. Mixed Nuts or Trail Mix: This is a favorite in the Greatist office. Mixed nuts are an easy way to get a delicious dose of protein in a convenient, shelf-stable package. Try a mixed bunch for variety and a combo with dried fruit for some added sweetness. The best bang for your protein buck?Almonds and Pistachios are high up there in protein while comparably lower in saturated fat than their nutty peers.

4. Pumpkin Seeds: Those orange gourds aren’t just for Halloween. The pumpkin insides, scooped out to make room for spooky faces, can actually make a healthy little snack once they’re washed, dried, and nicely roasted! Just ½ cup of pumpkin seeds has about 14 grams of protein — the perfect pre-workout snack!

5. Hard-Boiled Egg: Inexpensive and loaded with nutrients, eggs are one of the best ways to get a healthy dose of protein. Try hard boiling and pre-peeling a dozen at the start of the week and throw one in a small Tupperware container each day for an easy on-the-go snack. (Feeling extra famished? Slice the egg and place it on a piece of whole-wheat bread.)

6. Deli Rollup: Top 2 slices of low-sodium deli meat (turkey, chicken, or roast beef work great!) with 1 slice of lowfat cheese and a shake of pepper. Add a slice of tomato or some lettuce for extra veggie points!

7. Nut Butter Boat: Any vehicle for nut butter (almond, peanut, or cashew, perhaps?) is perfection in our book. Try loading a few celery sticks with 1 tablespoon of any nut butter topped with a few whole almonds or raisins (oh yeah, we went there). If you’re not a fan of celery, try scooping out the middle of an apple and fill it with a nut buttery surprise!

8. Mini Bean-and-Cheese Quesadilla: It might take an extra minute to prep, but combining these two high-protein treats is worth it! Fold ½ cup black beans, 1 tablespoon salsa, and 1 slice cheddar cheese in a small soft tortilla. Cook in a dry nonstick pan until cheese is melted and tortilla is lightly browned. Wrap in foil and stick in a plastic baggie for easy transport.

9. Shake It Up: The combinations are endless with protein shakes. And one scoop can go a long way! Our favorites? The “Protein Creamsicle” — 1 scoop vanilla whey protein powder, 1 cup orange juice, and 1 cup ice blended until smooth — (thanks @JCDFitness!), and the “Star-buffs Shake” — 1 cup iced coffee (with ice) and 1 scoop chocolate whey protein, blended — a caffeine-filled creation from Greatist’s fitness editor, Jordan Shakeshaft.

10. KIND Bar: We’re not huge supporters of prepackaged bars, smoothies, and the like, but we make an exception for KIND bars. Their classic varieties are a great source of protein from the all-nut base (coming in at around 5 grams per bar), but for an even higher dose of the good stuff, try Kind Plus varieties with added protein. (An office favorite is Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate + Protein — one bar has 7 grams!)

Read more via The Greatist!

Hello again!

After breaking my foot last summer, I was in that dreadful air cast for 3 months, out of work for 6 weeks and even when the cast came off it took time for me to gain strength back. I only started running again after the new year, and to be completely honest I let my diet go entirely to the birds for months and months…

As delightfully delicious as the past year has been, it hasn’t been healthy. However, in April, 2 and a half months ago, I joined Steve Nash Fitness World and signed myself up with a personal trainer. I see her once a week, and I couldn’t be happier! She keeps me on track and kicks my ass in a way I never do for myself. I have lost 20 pounds since joining and my endurance, strength and thirst for fitness and health has sky rocketed! So to say the least, I AM BACK!!

Tomorrow, July 2nd 2012, I am beginning a 30 day challenge my trainer (Courtney) has created. She uses it on all of her clients after a few months and if you stick with it apparently you get great results. It’s sort of a detox, you take the 30 days to flush out anything bad from your system, diet and life and hopefully at the end you have a new way of looking at food. That’s my hope, anyways.

To be short and sweet the rules are as follows:


No dairy
No sugar
No alcohol
No processed foods
One cup of coffee a day (with sugar and milk, if that’s how you take your coffee)
Exercise 6 days a week, even if you can only fit in 20 minutes of cardio

Those are the essential guidelines, I won’t go into too much detail. It will definitely be a challenge, but she told me the keys to success are dedication, preparation and batch cooking! So if anyone has some clean, healthy, vegetable full meal recipes, send them my way!!

I will do my best to post every day, I’ve really missed this.

Wish me luck folks! And as it is Canada Day, I am heading out to celebrate this glorious nation’s 145th birthday! No drinks tonight though, rabbit food won’t suffice as a hangover cure ;)